


Trust

by infinity_and_beyond



Category: DC's Legends of Tomorrow (TV) RPF
Genre: Date Rape Drug/Roofies, Detective!Ray - Freeform, Group Therapy, It Gets Worse Before It Gets Better, Leonard Snart does not scare easily, M/M, Original Character(s), Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Therapy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-02-19
Updated: 2017-02-25
Packaged: 2018-09-25 13:06:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,275
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9821825
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/infinity_and_beyond/pseuds/infinity_and_beyond
Summary: In which Leonard Snart learns that trust is hard to come by and Ray Palmer tries to teach him otherwise.





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This first chapter focuses solely on Leonard Snart but the rest of the characters will be introduced within the next three chapters.

Leonard had no idea what he had gotten himself into. Maybe it was the disarming smile, the irresistible cologne, or maybe even the stupid pickup line that made him melt like popsicle in the middle of July and follow the tall, dark, charming stranger back to his apartment. Leonard liked to believe that he had much self-control but the obscene things that the other man was doing to his neck made Len forget his own name so it was safe to say that self-control was the last thing on his mind.  
Leonard groaned as he was shoved roughly against a wall, the other man's mouth still ravaging his neck. "I... fuck, don't even... know your... fucking hell... your name," Leonard struggled to get out.  
The other man pulled back for a moment to get a glimpse of the panting, desperate man before him. He grinned and something turned sour in Leonard's stomach.  
"Just call me Vinny," he murmured into his ear before nibbling on it, earning himself a cute little gasp and shudder.  
Leonard couldn't help it. Something seemed just the slightest bit off but Len could barely focus on that in the moment. Maybe it was because he was always on top and being dominated like this was a change for him.  
Without warning, Vinny pulled back and relished in the low whine that escaped before Leonard could shut his mouth. Len pursed his lips in frustration with himself. Vinny chuckled darkly and Leonard watched as something indefinable changed in the taller man's eyes that shook Len to his core. His palms grew clammy, his heartbeat quickened, his chest tightened. Leonard hadn't felt like this in a very long time. Sure, he was always cautious, but Leonard Snart was never afraid. Fear implied an uncertainty that he had always done everything in his power to avoid. To be afraid was to be vulnerable.  
"Relax, Lenny, baby. You're not afraid of me, are you?" Vinny smiled once again. He ran his hand over the shorter man's closely cut hair, sending a shiver down Len's spine.  
"N-no." Len silently cursed himself for stuttering.  
Vinny half-chuckled as he brought his mouth back to Leonard's ear.  
"Then close your eyes."  
Leonard's breath hitched.  
Vinny sensed his hesitation and repeated the command more forcefully: "Close. Your. Eyes."  
Fighting every urge to run, cry, vomit, or some combination of all three, Leonard obeyed.  
Everything was going to be fine, Len told himself. But he couldn't fool himself.  
Len tried to calm himself down but his hands were shaking so bad and if he could just stop his damned hands from–  
"Stop." Vinny's tone had softened considerably, so much so that it took Leonard a second to realize that it was, in fact, Vinny speaking.  
Len opened his eyes and realized that his entire body was trembling.  
"Sorry," he managed out in a whisper to avoid his voice cracking.  
Vinny placed his hand firmly on Leonard's shoulders, practically freezing him in place.  
"Don't be sorry, Lenny," Vinny chuckled lightly, "Why don't you sit down on the couch and I'll get you some water, okay?"  
Len nodded, his mouth now too dry to even bother forming words. Vinny cupped Leonard's cheek, letting his hand linger for a moment as he watched bright pink heat spread across the smaller man's face. He smiled, eyes alight with something Leonard couldn't define, and walked toward the kitchen. As soon as Vinny was out of sight, Leonard let out the breath that he had forgotten to exhale and gasped quietly to return to semi-normal breathing. He truly hadn't expected Vinny's calm reaction and truthfully it still didn't sit well with him. Len let his legs slip slowly from beneath him as he sank to the floor with his back against the wall. He brought his knees up and crossed his arms over them, perching his chin on his forearm and breathing through his gritted teeth. His breaths were shallow but they were all that he could manage at this point. Mind racing, he closed his eyes to clear the thoughts of fear and panic from his mind but the blackness proved to be a breeding ground for much more terrifying figments of his vivid imagination so he opened his eyes just as quickly as he'd shut them and instead fixated on a loose thread on the cuff of his jeans, fingers picking and pulling like it was the most important thing he had ever done. Creaking floorboards informed him of the other man's presence. Straightening up, Leonard cautiously reached his hand out to accept the glass of water and nodded his appreciation. He brought the glass to his lips and chugged half of the cup before stopping abruptly. Something tasted really off. Leonard inspected the glass casually, trying not to appear alarmed at the strange, salty taste in his mouth.  
What was he worrying about? It was only water... right? His eyelids began to feel heavy and Leonard struggled to keep them open as he looked up at Vinny.  
"What..." he trailed off, uncertain of what he was about to ask.  
"Just relax, Lenny, baby. It's all good," Vinny cooed gently.  
Then it clicked. Leonard's eyes went wild as his heavy tongue struggled to find the words he desperately needed.  
"You bast... you, you... dru...g...ged... you..."  
Vinny shushed him and took the glass from his hands.  
"Just breathe, baby, everything's gonna be fine."  
The world began to slip away from around Len before fading into complete and utter darkness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you liked this first chapter! I'm not sure when the next chapter will be up but it will be up soon.


	2. Repeat After Me

Leonard opened his eyes only to shut them immediately afterwards when bright lights overhead temporarily blinded him.  
"Fuck," he muttered, cursing himself for forgetting to turn off his bedroom lights the previous night.  
He ran a hand over his face, lingering over his eyes to allow them to adjust to the harsh lighting before putting his hand back down by his side. Leonard waited a moment before opening his eyes again, blinking several times and looking at the ceiling surrounding the ceiling light panels above him.  
But Leonard didn't have ceiling light panels.  
Alarmed, Leonard sat upright and whipped his head from side to side, taking in the white and green linoleum and curtains of a hospital room.  
"Hey, hey, hey, Len, calm down. Do you know where you are?" a familiar voice called to him, smooth and slow.  
Leonard fixed his gaze on the stiff-looking chair in the corner and, more importantly, the man sitting in it. The bald head and leather jacket sent a wave of temporary relief through him.  
"Do you know where you are?" Mick Rory repeated, rising cautiously from his chair.  
Leonard nodded slowly.  
"Do you remember why?"  
"Why..." Len repeated, his voice faltering.  
His mind raced trying to recall why exactly he was in a hospital room when a rush of blurred fragments of memories hit him like a tidal wave and threatened to drown him in panic and uncertainty.  
Leonard froze. His heart pounded in his chest as a loud buzzing filled his ears. He saw Mick's mouth moving but it felt like someone had muted everything but that damned buzzing. The world seemed to turn on its head and Leonard was suddenly filled with the chilling sensation that he was as good as dead. Dread and terror seized him in an icy grip and Leonard let out a scream. Or, at least, he tried to. It appeared that his vocal chords were failing him too. He was helpless, paralyzed as the world crumbled around him.  
"Leonard, I need you to listen to me." A firm voice sliced through the buzzing, clear as a bell.  
Leonard forced his head to move ever so slightly in what was almost a nod. Frustrated but still gripped with panic, he willed himself to nod again, this time so forcefully that he could not stop nodding.  
"Leonard, it's okay. You're having a panic attack. Just repeat after me: one, two, three, seven, nine, eleven, five."  
"One... two... three... seven... nine..." Leonard managed to get out between shallow pants.  
"You're okay. Ten, eleven, six, nine, eight."  
"Ten... eleven..." his breathing was beginning to even out and the world was beginning to look normal again. A kind face with the biggest brown eyes he had ever seen came into focus. "...six... nine... eight... what did you...?"  
"Your brain can't panic and count out of order simultaneously," the unfamiliar man stated calmly, reaching out and gently holding one of Leonard's still trembling hands in his own. "My name is Ray Palmer, I'm here to help you."  
Leonard glanced warily at his own hand in Ray's hands but remained silent.  
"I know this isn't easy, but in order for me to help you, I need you to help me."  
Leonard didn't respond and instead turned his gaze to Mick who stood with his arms folded tightly across his chest and his face riddled with semi-masked concern.  
"You can trust him, Len," Mick answered his friend's unspoken question.  
Leonard looked back up at Ray before lowering his gaze again to his hand, wordlessly acknowledging the bruises that adorned his arm. He suspected that his other arm looked quite similar and a quick glance over confirmed his theory, and then some. A large, unsettling pattern of dark yellow spots that resembled a handprint was wrapped around his forearm like a terrible, brutal bracelet.  
Leonard barely had enough time to turn his head and lean over the linoleum floor below before he puked.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Anyone who understood the "Bull" reference gets major brownie points and my love.  
> More updates will come soon.


	3. Numb

"So all you want is a verbal testimony from Leonard, correct?" Len could hear Mick hounding Ray, who Len now knew was a detective, from where they stood in the corner furthest from him.  
"That is correct Mr. Rory–"  
"Mick."  
Leonard himself had drawn his knees up to his chest and was rocking gently back and forth on the hospital bed.  
He felt numb.  
He felt wrong.  
He knew that the medication he was now on was blocking out the physical pain but it was more than just the physical. Leonard had expected himself to cry or to punch something, but all he could muster the strength to do was fixate on a loose thread on his hospital gown or a completely uninteresting spot on the linoleum floor. He was desperate to feel something, but he felt empty inside. There was nothing for him to feel and that was completely unsettling. Because if he can't feel any strong emotions about what may have happened, maybe it didn't actually happen. Maybe it was just some story his brain concocted. Or maybe it did happen but Leonard was not entirely free of blame. Maybe he had it coming.  
"Sorry, Mick. And I don't want to rush Leonard but the sooner we get this testimony the sooner we can catch the bastard who did this."  
Mick stole a quick glance at Leonard. "I don't know if he's ready for that just yet."  
Leonard cleared his throat and the two men turned to him.  
"You said you can help me, Ray. Is that true?" Leonard asked, never making eye contact.  
"Yes, Leonard. I'm a detective and it's my job to help people by putting criminals behind bars." Ray stated confidently.  
Len opened and shut his mouth several times, unsure of what to ask for at this point.  
"Mick, could we have a moment?" Ray asked.  
Mick glance back over at Leonard before exiting the room wordlessly.  
"What is it that you want me to help with, Leonard?"  
"I... I can't..." Leonard struggled to verbalize his thoughts.  
"...can't feel any strong emotions and you want to, right?" Ray finished.  
Leonard swallowed hard and nodded.  
"It's a fairly common initial reaction to feel numb like that. Talking helps, but I'm going to warn you that once you let in those emotions it's not exactly a stroll in the park. None of it is. But you need to understand that you did not bring this on yourself. You were forced into a position that you do not deserve and I want to help you find justice for that."  
Len nodded again numbly, not out of agreement but rather out of this knee-jerk reaction of instinctive desire to seem normal and maybe to believe it himself.  
Ray looked him squarely in the eye. "I know you don't believe me yet but I'll keep saying it until you do."  
Leonard stared at Ray, stunned. "How did you know?"  
Ray offered him a small smile. "Because you are not the first rape victim that I've met."  
Someone must have knocked the wind right out of Len's lungs. He was visibly shaken and Ray took a mental note of how Leonard instinctively curled in on himself at the first mention of rape. Ray pursed his lips to prevent himself from getting emotional. That was always one of the hardest parts of his job, seeing people hear what happened to them from someone else. And knowing what he had to ask them to endure next made it all the more difficult. Ray pulled up a chair next to the bed and sat at eye level with Leonard.  
"Leonard, what I'm about to ask you to do requires you to be impossibly brave and because of that I need you to know that we can stop anytime. Do you understand?" Ray kept his tone even so as not to spook the other man.  
"Yes," Leonard affirmed with as much coolness as he could muster, "I understand, Detective Palmer."  
Ray looked him square in the eyes with a mix of firmness and concern to calm Leonard down.  
"Leonard, I need you to tell me what you remember from that night."


End file.
